Posts

Interrupt the Pattern

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Flying Into Windows

In the last issue, I told the story of the red cardinal bird who visits my friend. I offered the metaphor of “flying into the window” to represent the behaviors that hamper your effectiveness. I stated that the important thing is to get yourself to try something new. In order to do that, you’ve got to “bang on the window” in the moment you recognize that you’re caught up in the old habit and flying that familiar pattern. It’s the awareness and the ability to catch yourself in the moment that’s key. So how do you do that? Read more

Flying Into Any Windows Lately?

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The Red Cardinal

A red cardinal has become a frequent visitor this winter at my friend Jackie Johnson’s home in Connecticut. She first spotted him flying repeatedly into her front window, which was quite understandable since the window offers a clear view straight through her house and out another window. Add to this the blinding combination of bright winter sun and voluminous amounts of snow on the ground. Jackie banged on the glass and scared it away, feeling that it was “the kind thing to do.” To her dismay, a few days later she discovered the cardinal flying into the window again – and repeatedly so. Wouldn’t this little fellow learn? Read more

Just Want To Be Here

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Advice that Stuck

Did you catch any of Jay Leno’s finale week on The Tonight Show? I’m typically fast asleep by late-night television time, but in a sentimental move, I set my DVR to record Jay’s last few shows. His celebrity lineup included Matthew McConaughey who returned for a 16th appearance. McConaughey recalled the advice Jay had given him years earlier to calm his nerves before walking on stage. It was this: Just want to be here. According to McConaughey, it was advice that stuck and applied to many life situations, not just performing.¹ Read more

Go Gently, Go Strong

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Structure + Compassion

Whichever words you use — goals, habits, intentions, or even those infamous resolutions — it all comes down to the stuff you want to work on, achieve, and improve. As I select my areas of focus for the year and the projects I’ll declare priorities this winter, there’s always that tidal wave feeling that tries to convince me they’re all important and should have been done yesterday. I allow that feeling with a familiar nod of oh-yes-there-it-is. It’s a natural part of the process of periodically taking stock and Planning with Perspective, as I’ve come to name it. Read more

Kind of or Absolutely?

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Watch Your Language

The other day I was helping my client Debbie¹ update her resume. The financial services company she works for is going through layoffs, and Debbie is in job search mode. Her long-term goal is to get into healthcare technology, and she is enrolled in a certification program. As we considered her audience and how to gear her resume, we discussed that one logical route to an immediate job is to look for something similar to what she’s doing now: customer service with a financial company. Then Debbie slipped in the comment, “Well, I wouldn’t mind finding a healthcare position now.” Read more

Did You Blow It?

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Sound Familiar?

You turned over the proverbial new leaf and pledged your commitment to a new habit. Maybe it’s about eating healthier, exercising better, or working smarter. Whatever it is, you know it comes down to being consistent. So how’s it going so far? You’re in good company if this sounds familiar: Read more

There’s Something Funny Here

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Want Me to Make You a Sandwich?

Three years ago on a summer day in August, I was visiting my parents in Somers, NY. It was lunchtime and we were about to take our first spoonfuls of the chicken soup I had made the night before. As I looked across the kitchen table at my father, I expected to see a satisfied smile but instead there was a glazed look in his eyes and I noticed he could barely hold himself up. I sprang to my feet, and while my mother and I bolstered him on each side, I reached for the phone to call 911. Fortunately this turned out to be a case of syncope (his blood pressure had dropped too low) and was easily rectified by an adjustment in his medications. At the time though, we thought it might have been a stroke, and that alarming is-this-it question lingered in the air. Read more

Are You in Catch-Up Mode?

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“The sooner I fall behind, the more time I have to catch up.”
– Unknown

Which Kind?

“I’m digging out.” That’s what my friend, Tim, said with a definitive sigh when I asked how he was doing back at work after knee surgery. “I’m catching up.” Those were my own words when my friend, Monica, posed a similar question to me about a month ago. I told her it felt good to be returning to projects that I had put aside last winter in order to care for my mother. Yet Monica sensed a degree of heaviness in my choice of words. “You think you might want to reframe that catching-up part?” Seeing as how this reframing business is something at which we coaches are experts (ahem), I’m usually open to the suggestion. This time I found myself yeah-butting: Okay, but even if I call it something else, aren’t I still catching up? Read more

Own It!

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What Is Yours to Own?

Taking ownership. Employers expect it from their employees. We expect it from our service providers. Often thought of as going the extra mile, taking ownership is being responsible for what is within your purview and believing you can make a difference. It comes across in everything you do and in the way you do it. Read more

Take Your Life Off Hold

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Ready to Make Some Changes

When Marcella called me, she introduced herself as a long-time ezine subscriber and stated, “I’m ready to make some changes.” Having gained perspective on a long-term and unhealthy relationship that ended two years ago, Marcella summarized what she learned: “You can’t put your life on hold because someone else isn’t ready to do something.” Recognizing that she has “experienced a shift,” Marcella now wants more for herself. Read more