Posts

Don’t Make Worry

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It Translates Well

Mariana is one of the wonderful companions who took care of my mother the month after my father passed away. Having lived most of her life in Romania, she learned English fairly quickly “on the job” over the last few years. Her distinctive accent punctuates her personality and wraps around you warmly like one of her grandmotherly hugs. While reassuring my mother one day, she said — and you’ll have to use your imagination to hear the accent — “Don’t make worry.” Read more

When Life Gives You a Break, Take It

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As Humbling As It May Be

At my high school, Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker was the dance club’s annual tradition. Soon after the school year began, roles were assigned and months of dedicated practice would follow. There were no tryouts, and as I recall, the two teachers who ran the production determined lead roles over a bottle of wine. Furthermore, seniority ruled: As a freshman, I marched in formation with all the other toy soldiers in musty old band uniforms inherited from the local boys’ prep school; in sophomore year most of my classmates were gingerbread men and flutes, so I was lucky to be dancing the Waltz of the Flowers; and in junior year, I ascended to the role of Snow Queen. Read more

What Else Could Be True?

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A Simple Fix for Counterproductive Thinking

Ever find yourself plagued by thoughts that run counter to your goal? A timely example for many right now is if you’re trying to find a job while also thinking: There are no good jobs out there in this economy. Whether true or not, thinking that thought makes it hard to take action. Like a virus that slows down your computer, doubts that lurk in your mind make your performance sluggish, too. Read more

There’s No Comparison

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This Is Your Life

I was 30 years old and sitting in a counselor’s office contemplating the next chapter of my life, having recently decided to get divorced. Elaine (the counselor) commented that she had observed it often took about six years post-divorce to be ready for a serious relationship again. While on one level I was at peace and looking forward to a fresh start, on another level I had an overriding feeling that could be summed up in three words: I’m so behind. Read more

You’ll Know It Then

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If You Knew Then…

Yesterday a friend told me about an event she attended where Michael J. Fox was a keynote speaker. He shared a story about how when he was in high school his “nanna” told him he’d be successful in the field of acting. Michael’s nanna was known to be right about such predictions so it was her certainty that caused his family to be supportive and bolstered his confidence in becoming an actor. Read more

How Could It Go Right?

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Don’t Stop There

It’s been said that people who anticipate obstacles when attempting goals are more successful because they are ready to meet those issues if and when they arise. If you want to eat better and your sweet tooth typically kicks in while watching TV, your preemptive strike might be to have fresh fruit cut up and ready to grab in the fridge. Makes sense, right? Yet there’s a critical distinction to be made: Planning for obstacles can be helpful, but surrendering to them before they even happen? Not so helpful. Read more

Transfer Your Success

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Did You Say Steer?

Ever start a new endeavor where, right from the onset, you weren’t sure whether you would be successful? I observe this fairly often during the coaching process. The words might not actually be spoken but I’ll feel them. Someone will be a few weeks into a coaching program and I can hear the doubtful thoughts enter the room with a thud. What if this doesn’t work for me? Can I do it? Sure it works for other people, but will it work for me? Read more

Tackling A Tough Job?

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“Sometimes success is due less to ability than to zeal.
The winner is he who gives himself to his work body and soul.”
—Charles Buxton

Embrace the Work

Early this year I posed this question to you: What is it time for? Whatever your answer, I invited you to accept the challenge and embrace the work before you. I’ve been thinking more about that phrase I used — embrace the work — and what it really means. By now it’s likely that the difficult parts of the work you set out to accomplish this year have become known. How do you handle it when you’re tackling a tough job? Read more

Don’t Psychoanalyze the Door

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Take it from Tony

photo of person opening a doorMy father, Tony, now 86, was an IBM salesman during the 1950’s-1980’s. In the early days of his career¹ he’d cart an IBM Selectric typewriter all over Manhattan. A tip he learned from cold calling and would later share with rookie salesmen was: “Don’t psychoanalyze the door.” Even when approaching small or obscure companies, there might be more opportunity behind the door than expected. Read more

Which Wolf Have You Been Feeding?

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Two Wolves

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. Read more