The Promise You Make to Yourself
Introduction
I first ran today’s article four years prior to launching InTheCurrent.com. Since then, I’ve come to see even more clearly that regardless of the particular goal you might be working on at any given time, the pivotal moment happens earlier and is bigger than the goal itself. It involves a promise you make to yourself on a very deep level. Sometimes this promise is a subconscious one, yet bringing it up to your awareness gives it even more power. Why is this important? Because when you fail at certain goals or your plans get derailed, connecting with this deeper promise will be the difference between giving up and opening up.
Enjoy the article and feel free to share your promise with me. —Ginny
The Promise Made
It feels like a promise I kept to myself. So read my journal entry a year after leaving my 15-year corporate career and opening my own business. The promise I had made, however, was not about starting a business. It was much broader ― a simple vow not to settle and to listen to what was prodding me to follow my interests, explore a new venue, and apply my talents in a new way.
It wasn’t the first time I had made a promise to myself. Years earlier and newly single again, I had written down some very distinct promises while contemplating the kind of relationship I desired. This was not so much about the specific characteristics of an ideal partner (that was a separate list I had going). Rather, this promise had to do with staying true to myself.
The impact of both promises was a feeling of peaceful confidence. Once each promise was made, it was almost as if it had happened already. I believed myself.
Your Scarlett O’Hara Moment
When you ask, “What do I promise myself?” you go to a deeper level that supersedes logistics. For instance, “I promise I will take care of my body,” is much more encompassing than saying, “I promise I’ll stick to my diet.” This kind of deeply felt promise is larger than any one goal and doesn’t necessarily have a time stamp on it.
If it helps to have an image, recall the dramatic scene when Scarlett O’Hara pledges, “If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill… As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again.” Now she really meant it! If Gone With The Wind is not part of your classic movies playlist, then picture the scene in Jerry Maguire when Jerry pulls an all-nighter to pour out his heart in a 25-page mission statement that proclaims client relationships are more important than profits. Though risking his professional reputation and losing his job, he reclaims both his integrity and his passion.1
For a real-life example, we can look to Chris Gardner, entrepreneur and philanthropist whose rise from homelessness was portrayed by Will Smith in the movie The Pursuit of Happyness. In his book Start Where You Are, Chris speaks of “the most empowering decision of my life” when at age 6, he made a promise to himself that when he grew up and had children of his own, they would know who he was and he would be present in their lives. Chris also references another pivotal decision he made as a teenager: to one day be world-class at something, even if he didn’t yet know what that something was.2
Often we hold within ourselves an unspoken promise. It hasn’t quite traveled the distance from a half-formed wish to a full-fledged promise. There is a difference. Whatever you desire to introduce into your life, the defining moment is the same. The defining moment is when you make a promise to yourself to honor your heart’s desire, to go for it, and not settle for less.
Go On Record
Keeping a promise to yourself is a powerful thing. First, though, the promise must be made. You must go on record with yourself. At the time, there will be no guarantee of it coming to fruition. It’s just a silent promise made to yourself. It might begin with these words: I will find a way to… I am committed to… I will remember to…
What deeply felt yearning of yours is ready to be expressed? What do you now commit to honoring? Even if you don’t know the how and when, what can you promise yourself about how you will approach this desire?
What do you promise yourself? Go on record and feel it in your bones that you are serious.
“No trumpets sound
when the important decisions
of our life are made.
Destiny is made known silently.”
—Agnes de Mille
Notes:
1 Watch Vivian Leigh as Scarlett O’Hara in this famous scene from Gone With The Wind here. Watch Tom Cruise as Jerry Maguire here.
2 Gardner, Start Where You Are: Life Lessons in Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. (New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 2009), pages 3, 27. | ChrisGardnerMedia.com
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