of or Absolutely?
Watch Your Language
The other day I was helping my client Debbie¹ update
her resume. The financial services company she works for is
going through layoffs, and Debbie is in job search mode. Her
long-term goal is to get into healthcare technology, and she
is enrolled in a certification program. As we considered her
audience and how to gear her resume, we discussed that one
logical route to an immediate job is to look for something
similar to what she's doing now: customer service with a financial
company. Then Debbie slipped in the comment, "Well, I
wouldn't mind finding a healthcare position now."
"You wouldn't mind or that's what you want?"
I didn't ask the question to jump on Debbie's choice of words.
As her coach, I needed the clarification, and actually, so
did Debbie. What is the ideal scenario? What is the target?
Once Debbie stated affirmatively, "Yes, that's my target,"
our conversation took a strategic turn.
State It Clearly
from: "I wouldn't mind if that happened" to: "This
is what I want to happen" changes the energy
from Kind of to Absolutely. What
was passively hoped for is now proactively targeted.
The words you use are important because they impact your motivation,
your actions, and the ultimate outcome.
There are numerous factors -- not knowing
where to start, doubting what's possible, and worries of every
kind -- that can cause you to back off what you want
the most. Upgrading your language is important. Some
years ago, I noticed I had a habit of saying, "I don't
care" in certain situations where I was disappointed.
Somehow I thought that would take the sting out of a failure,
yet it didn't. I revised my words to be more accurate:
I care very deeply.
Changing the words didn't change a past outcome, but owning
what I felt strongly about influenced both my attitude
and approach with future challenges.
Take a Strong Stance
There are those things that "would be nice" if
they happened yet you'd be fine either way. And it's healthy
not to need what you're pursuing so much as want
it. Just make sure you're not assigning this okay-either-way
energy to something deeply important to you.
This Week's Call To Action:
- Take something you've been passively hoping for and dare
to target it proactively.
- Watch your language when talking about this subject.
Is it Kind of or Absolutely?
Own your ideal scenario, own your decision to go for it,
and watch the floodgates of possibility open wide!
Here's to you,
¹Name changed for privacy.