Trusting Your Clarity

(#2 in the series: Trust is an Essential Element)

Today’s feature continues the theme introduced in: Trust is an Essential Element. I wrote this article in 2006; the now-ubiquitous quote from Steve Jobs aptly addresses the question of trust and clarity. Rixt Kuiper, the friend referenced below, tells me how much it affected her when I first shared the idea of trusting decisions you’ve made “in the light.”  She says it’s something that has stayed with her to this day.

Two Conversations

Last week I had similar conversations with two people:

A friend called to tell me that she is going to adopt a baby. Although she and her husband are in the midst of making a major geographical move – to a foreign country – they made the decision to adopt with clarity of mind and heart.

A client with whom I’m working recently completed a program designed to provide clarity in her next career move. She made some significant discoveries by piecing together her own inklings and clearly identifying her priorities. She knows the direction to take.

Ahhh. Big exhale. The peace of making a decision that you know in your core is right. But then…

My friend confessed that no sooner had she started the adoption process than a flood of thoughts descended on her: the myriad of steps to be taken, the emotions involved, and various other concerns.

Similarly, my client commented that now that she knows what she wants, she realizes what she will have to do to get it: move beyond her comfort zone, keep motivated, patiently and persistently move ahead. She clearly wants to change companies, yet on days when she is not feeling so bold, these thoughts cross her mind: Well it’s not so bad here. Maybe I have it pretty good.

I shared the same insight with both my friend and my client: Despite the emotional waves you may be experiencing now, you don’t need to question a decision you made in the light.

In the Light

How do you know whether your hesitation is bringing up something valid to examine or whether it’s just a fearful second-guessing? If you can remember being clear at the time you made the decision and if you felt peace of mind and spirit, then you made the decision “in the light.”

Once you turn toward executing your decision, you may not feel this peacefulness at all times and that is okay. It is natural to hesitate after making a big decision. The hesitation is really a preparation stage during which you are gearing up and getting ready to grow into the desired change.

Trusting Your Clarity

Once you receive clarity, you must act with courage. Keep your discoveries and insights in front of you. This might mean posting a symbolic picture where you can see it, revisiting a page in your journal, or repeating a statement of clarity: What I do know for certain is that I…

Remind yourself that you have done the due diligence and that you don’t need to do it again. Take a deep breath, take a step, and listen for further directions. You will continue to be guided. Trust.

This Week’s Call To Action:

• What recent decision have you made in the light?
• Practice reassuring yourself by saying: I don’t need to question it. I know I made this decision in the light.
• What’s the first action step? Summon your courage and take that step with clarity of mind and heart.

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking
backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in the future. You have to trust in something: your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path.”

-Steve Jobs
(Commencement Address,
Stanford University, June 12, 2005)

Note: A shorter version of this article was originally published October 10, 2006.