The Joy of Connection (Part 2)

In Part 1, I relayed two stories about strangers who offered the joy of connection during periods of difficulty and crisis. Today’s post is about opportunities for connection that exist in everyday interactions.

You’re Going to Need a New Chicken

I was at Joseph’s, one of our favorite neighborhood markets and in a rush. On this Sunday morning during the holiday season, the market was crowded and I hoped to zip in and out quickly. After grabbing a head of lettuce, tomatoes and some flat-leaf parsley, I beelined it to the rotisserie chickens. Once at the checkout line, I reached down into my grocery cart and single-handedly pulled out one of the two containers. Big mistake.

I stared at the upside-down chicken now exposed and free from its container. It had landed directly on the rungs of the cart and was dripping all over the floor. The man behind me in line detected I was considering the 30-second rule. He smiled while asserting, “You’re going to need a new chicken.” His statement jolted me back into reality. Move your legs, Ginny. I darted between people while apologizing for holding up the line.

Now securing a new chicken container in a two-handed grip, I hopped back to my spot in line to see a woman wiping up the floor with paper towels. She was with the you’re-going-to-need-a-new-chicken guy. I thanked her profusely and was amazed at her willingness to deal with goopy chicken drippings and the fact that she was smiling.

At the register, I slipped the attendant $20 to put toward her order. It was the least I could do. I’m always inspired by those stories about people who pay for the car behind them while they’re in a drive-through, whether for a cup of coffee or a car wash. I wasn’t so much paying it forward as I was paying it backward. Whatever the case, it’s definitely appropriate to pay the bill for someone who helps you with a chicken in the middle of a sea of people at the market.

I turned to leave and noticed everyone in line was smiling warmly. On my way out of the store another woman stopped me at the door and commented, “I saw what you did. That was very nice of you.” “Well it was nice of her to help me,” I replied.

I loaded the groceries into my car and realized I was no longer in a rush. In fact, I felt elated. What a chain reaction. The woman who did a good deed for me inspired me to reciprocate and our interaction impacted everyone around us.

Each time I see Gail, the cash register attendant from that Sunday, we laugh and say, “Remember that day with the chicken.”

The Case for Talking to Strangers

My inclination for talking to strangers is from my mother who always seemed to know everyone’s story, even a plumber in the house for 45 minutes. Most of you know that “talking to strangers” is how I met my husband… in the coffee aisle of the grocery store.

While feel-good stories are nice to hear and perhaps my chicken tale gave you a chuckle, that’s not my only motive today. As we explore this topic – The Joy of Connection – there are a few other things to notice:

• The Pausing – It was a brief moment as I was loading the groceries into the trunk of my car, that I slowed down and was able to take it in, the humor of the moment and the goodness.
• The Mutuality – It starts out as doing something nice for someone else and then you realize how mutually nourishing it is. The joy of connection spreads to others.
• The Smallness – Though the splattered chicken caused a minor scene, it was a small action to bend down and wipe the floor. The opportunity for connection is often subtle, the smallest of interactions, a slight “rounding up” in the moment.
• The Retelling – Recounting the chicken incident brought to mind several other examples of connecting with strangers. My husband, Jess, and I have gotten into the habit of reporting these to each other, e.g., Guess what happened when I was filling up the car… It is often in the retelling that the joy of connection is magnified.
• The Hidden Nature – Opportunities for connection exist in our daily routines whether we’re in good moods, slumps or in the middle of a crisis. To illustrate this final point, I’ll share two quick examples:

At the Hotel: Last spring, my sister and I stayed at a hotel in Boston while my niece was in the hospital undergoing aggressive cancer treatment. On the morning we checked out, I was in a rush at the front desk with our Uber waiting outside. The hospitality manager handed me the receipt and I hesitated a moment while quickly explaining that it had been a difficult week but his kindness had made it a little easier. “That’s why I’m in this business,” he replied softly. I could feel that this brief exchange was affirming for us both.

At the Car Wash: After less than stellar customer service while at a lab to have my blood drawn (no greeting and bare minimum interaction), I drove to a car wash. I rolled down the window to speak with the attendant and threw in a how’s-your-day expecting a perfunctory response. “I’m fantastic. God gave me this beautiful day and I get to live it.” I looked up from my lap and into a young man’s eyes to see that he actually meant the words he spoke. We extended our conversation and I thanked him for resetting my day. Later I relayed both interactions to my friend Luisa and emphasized the contrast between the grumpy guy at the lab vs. the car wash attendant. Her response was more gracious than mine and she suggested that maybe he was just having a bad day. Luisa was right. The next time I went to the lab he was more personable and even smiled.

Round Up: The Smallest Interaction

All three stories above transpired in just a few moments. Connection occurs in the smallest interaction and is often hidden – easy to miss yet just as easy to create.

This Week’s Call to Action:

• Round up: Thank someone for making a difference. Ask: How’s your day? Or as my husband likes to say: Thank you for being here.

What if your overture isn’t reciprocated? It’s okay. The grumps need it even more and we each take a turn at being the grump.

Share the story with others when it happens to you. Celebrate goodness. Magnify it. Lift your own spirit while lifting others.

Small. Mutual. Hidden. Abundant.

Opportunities for connection abound.