Posts

Not Exactly a Role Reversal

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(Time Period: Toward the end of Mom’s first year in memory care.)

What is Happening?

“Now the roles are reversed.” It’s a statement that is often made with regard to caring for elderly parents and there is something to it. We are trying to describe what’s going on, to make sense of the changes that are occurring. Our parents need help taking care of things around the house, managing their finances, or deciphering medical diagnoses and treatments. We declare, “It’s our turn to take care of them.”

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Shoes Tell a Story (Part 2)

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In Shoes Tell a Story (Part 1), the theme was Connection. This next installment has to do with Identity.

(Time Period: About two months before my mother died)

Planning Ahead

Years before she had Alzheimer’s and while going through clothes in her closet one day, with a quick mention and point of her finger, Mom indicated the outfit that she wanted for her burial. It was the pink silk, two-piece dress that she had worn to my wedding. The day we shopped for it at Lord & Taylor, we both knew immediately it was the perfect choice and she had looked beautiful in it. Read more

A Baked Potato Conversation

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(Time Period: The first few weeks after Mom moved into memory care.)

Conversation # 1: It Made Sense To Me

Six weeks after my father died, we moved my mother to a smaller assisted living community so that she could receive more personalized care. We were relieved to have found what appeared to be the perfect setting for Mom, yet we were anxious about her transition. Eager to relay everything there was to know about Grace to her caregivers, we typed a brief summary of her background and personality traits, as well as more detailed notes that covered her daily routines and preferences. The bullet points ranged from Mom’s bedtime habits to her favorite TV programs and from her clothes and most comfortable outfits to the big topic: Food. Read more

A Little Defiance Is Good

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(Time Period: About a year after Mom moved into the smaller assisted living home with memory care.)

“These Are Strange”

“I ordered Grace the Alzheimer’s pajamas.”

“Okay,” I responded, “What are Alzheimer’s pajamas?” Read more