(Time Period: Throughout Mom’s time in the care home.) A Lesson in Mindfulness When it is no longer possible to communicate with our loved ones the way we used to, how does connection occur? It was natural to wonder about Mom’s ability to connect with us. Was she understanding what we were saying? Was she […]
(Time Period: Throughout Mom’s time in the care home.) Conversations & Comprehension In the first several months of memory care, Mom still conversed fairly well. Over time she spoke less, though she enjoyed listening to conversations. Paragraphs of speech were reduced to single sentences, often punctuated with a smile, laugh, or nodding of her head […]
(Time Period: Toward the end of Mom’s first year in memory care.) What is Happening? “Now the roles are reversed.” It’s a statement that is often made with regard to caring for elderly parents and there is something to it. We are trying to describe what’s going on, to make sense of the changes that […]
Earlier this month at a town festival, I had the opportunity to go on a Ferris wheel with our five-year-old grandson. Three things stayed with me from our ride in the sky: #1 It had been many years since I was on a Ferris wheel. As we waited in line for 45 minutes with the […]
In Shoes Tell a Story (Part 1), the theme was Connection. This next installment has to do with Identity. (Time Period: About two months before my mother died) Planning Ahead Years before she had Alzheimer’s and while going through clothes in her closet one day, with a quick mention and point of her finger, Mom […]
Sensible Shoes Mom started using a walker during the first year in Arizona. The community where she and Dad lived had an expansive campus and it became too much to walk unassisted outside of their apartment. By the end of the day it was evident that the signal from Mom’s brain to her legs was […]
The Errand I couldn’t control much about Mom’s condition, so when there was something I could do, I really got into the assignment. My sister Lori, who works with the elderly, told me that memory care facilities often have therapeutic stuffed animals or baby dolls available for their residents. It’s not just about having an […]
(Time Period: Shortly after moving Mom into the care home.) At any one time in my mother’s group home, there were ten elderly residents. During certain periods, a man or two would be part of the mix, but more often the residents were women. Some lived there for several years and others just a few […]
There are many marathons in our lives. Some we run and some we watch. Her Favorite Day of the Year Natasha lives in Boston. Calling it her favorite day of the year, she was primed to watch it. Mary Grace lives in New Jersey. Having qualified and trained, she was primed to run it. They […]
(Time Period: The first few weeks after Mom moved into memory care.) Conversation # 1: It Made Sense To Me Six weeks after my father died, we moved my mother to a smaller assisted living community so that she could receive more personalized care. We were relieved to have found what appeared to be the […]