The Errand I couldn’t control much about Mom’s condition, so when there was something I could do, I really got into the assignment. My sister Lori, who works with the elderly, told me that memory care facilities often have therapeutic stuffed animals or baby dolls available for their residents. It’s not just about having an […]
(Time Period: Shortly after moving Mom into the care home.) At any one time in my mother’s group home, there were ten elderly residents. During certain periods, a man or two would be part of the mix, but more often the residents were women. Some lived there for several years and others just a few […]
There are many marathons in our lives. Some we run and some we watch. Her Favorite Day of the Year Natasha lives in Boston. Calling it her favorite day of the year, she was primed to watch it. Mary Grace lives in New Jersey. Having qualified and trained, she was primed to run it. They […]
(Time Period: The first few weeks after Mom moved into memory care.) Conversation # 1: It Made Sense To Me Six weeks after my father died, we moved my mother to a smaller assisted living community so that she could receive more personalized care. We were relieved to have found what appeared to be the […]
The Best Prayers Are One-Liners In my prior post, Open To What Is Next, I relayed the time my father spoke words to me that also seemed to be his prayer: I’m in your hands. I stated that some of the best prayers are one-liners and when expressed are often spontaneous and raw.
Dad’s Words to Me In the last year of my father’s life, it was necessary for him to have minor surgeries every few months. He rolled with these and recovered each time, able to enjoy the year with my mother in their new community where she was beginning to receive assisted living support. At this […]
(Time Period: About two years after Mom moved into memory care.) Avoiding the Word When Mom first showed signs of a failing memory, I found myself using a certain word and asking the same thing repeatedly. That single-worded question was this: “Remember?” That’s your niece, Gloria, your sister Rose’s daughter. Remember? That’s when you and […]
(Time Period: About a year after Mom moved into the smaller assisted living home with memory care.) “These Are Strange” “I ordered Grace the Alzheimer’s pajamas.” “Okay,” I responded, “What are Alzheimer’s pajamas?”
The Question Everyone Asked “Does she know you?” That’s the question everyone asked and I understand why. There is much anguish in anticipating that someone you love deeply and know intimately might not respond with that familiar smile.
Good or Bad “She smiled and acknowledged us. It was a good visit.” My friend Ira described a 15-minute interaction with his mother who was confined in a memory care facility during the height of the pandemic. With plexiglass restrictions and no-touch rules, it was especially heartbreaking. That Sunday, receiving a smile from his mother […]