All is Well

Resurfacing

It feels great to be writing again and reconnecting with you after a three-month absence. During this time, other than coaching work with active clients, it became necessary to put all other business activities on hold. Since I’ve never had to skip a single issue in seven years of writing this ezine, I found myself composing articles in my head and wishing I could transmit them to you instantaneously! Thank you to so many of you who reached out to see if everything was all right or to simply say that you missed hearing from me. I am finally digging out of my email pile-up and looking forward to responding to you individually.

The past three months presented three related yet distinct events that required my full attention. In December, my father experienced complications from surgery, and after a week of various ups and downs, he passed away one late Friday afternoon. Despite the fact that Dad was 88, his death was not expected, though at that age, naturally it’s something that must be faced. He did that with a deep faith and peace in his heart that was remarkable and awe-inspiring. Along with my brother, I had the privilege of holding my father’s hand as he took his last breath. It was a sacred and exquisite moment that I will always cherish.

Just one day after my father’s memorial and due to dynamics with a particular family member, it became necessary to initiate emergency legal proceedings to secure guardianship of my mother who has Alzheimer’s disease. While it was a time-consuming process that lasted seven weeks, it resolved successfully.

During this time, the third challenge was to put an immediate care-giving plan in place for my mother, to compensate for all the support my father had previously provided. Recently, we moved Mom from the larger assisted living community where she lived with Dad to a warm and loving group home, located just 10 minutes from my husband, Jess, and me. Her new environment is perfect for her and it’s wonderful to have her so close to us.

As we round out these last few weeks of winter, we find ourselves in calmer waters. Yet even during the emotional peaks of tumult and stress throughout the last three months, there were profound times of joy and an undercurrent of knowing that All is Well: was, is, and will be well.

Recognizing the Undercurrent

About a year and a half ago, when a dear friend was going through very intense cancer treatment, she kept her friends and family updated through email. She would share very honestly about her fears, frustrations, and hopes during such an overwhelming time. In one account that struck me as amazing my friend described waking up at 3:30 in the morning. As she lay there and listened to the sounds of her cats purring and her husband’s deep-sleep breathing, she said, “I was filled with such love and comfort that there was no cancer, no pain, no fear…all I could think was “I love my life!” What a powerful thing it is to be able to love your life in the midst of a crisis. That was most definitely an All is Well moment.

I experienced similar moments over the last few volatile months, and I believe these will remain most significant, much more than the sorrowful times. One such moment took place two days before my father died. Being partial to things that inspire relaxation, both of us loved to listen to the sound of water, whether a babbling brook or crashing ocean waves. Years prior I had given my father a cassette tape of a thunderstorm that he enjoyed and frequently mentioned, so when Dad discovered that the TV in his hospital room included a digital menu of “ambient water scenes,” he was only too eager to show me. On that day, he was feeling uncomfortable and had lost his appetite. We just sat there together, watching the waterfall cascade and listening to the soothing sounds of water. We were quiet for a long time. Dad looked over at me, smiled, and said: In the Current. I knew it was a moment to savor. All was well. We were in the current together and still are.

What Lets You Know?

Here are some factors I’ve noticed that seem to be correlated with being able to recognize that all is well:

• Having faith in something bigger than you;
• Allowing yourself to receive help;
• Recognizing the gifts within the circumstances in which you find yourself;
• Relishing the smallest joys that appear amidst crisis;
• Letting go, letting go, and letting go some more. Trusting fully.

Whatever you might be going through —a crisis of health, family, career, or other type —whatever is rocking your boat, consider that on some level, all is well. Though possibly on a wild wave, you will be delivered.

This Week:

• What lets you know that all is well even through tumultuous times?

In memory of my father,
Anthony D. Mangano
May 1, 1923-December 9, 2011

One more note: Dad was an avid reader of In the Current and my biggest fan. In fact after he died, we found a bunch of issues printed and marked up with yellow highlighter! On more than one occasion he asked me, “Do you write these articles with your mother and me in mind? It feels that way.” I told him that was a great compliment because that’s how I hoped all my readers feel, that the issue was written for them. He would often clip stories or quotes he came across and share them with me as food for thought for future articles. Dad also made appearances in several issues, his own wisdom fueling my content. I’m sure there will be plenty more Tony stories to come. Below are just a few from prior issues. Thanks for the material, Dad, and for showing us how to live in the current!

You Didn’t Have To Do That
A Big Move
Don’t Psychoanalyze The Door
The only Christmas gifts my father ever asked for