What Would Thrill You?
Avoiding Discomfort Only Gets You So Far
It was during a Take 10 coaching sampler at Spa Lamar here in Scottsdale. I had asked Marissa one of my favorite questions: “What are you craving?” I listened intently as she sat in her spa robe and described what she liked about her current job and also what bored her to no end. Then, mid-sentence, her tone of voice and whole demeanor changed. “Well you know what would thrill me?” I was all ears. In just ten minutes Marissa had gone from considering what the next most practical career move would be to entertaining greater possibility.
A few months later and midway through a coaching program, we identified what her driving motivators¹ had been throughout her career. It was a major discovery to realize that historically, Marissa’s primary motivation to consider change was, as she put it: avoiding discomfort or reacting to discontent. That motivator typically led her to choose what appeared to be the next logical role, yet that choice did not always result in fulfillment. Making decisions based on avoiding discomfort now felt like playing too small. Marissa declared her new motivator would be: reaching for a star. This simple “frame change” reminds her to consider more creative options. It doesn’t mean she dismisses what is practical or easily accessible, just that she is becoming more proactive in investigating her options.
It Only Feels Like Bungee Jumping!
“I’m at my best when I’m doing 1-2 scary things per week.” That’s what Jackie Johnson, a friend and coach, recently told me. Good news: Jackie’s not talking about doing anything rash or dangerous, so you don’t have to run out and go bungee jumping tomorrow. She’s referring to taking that step outside your comfort zone, the one that comes with butterflies in your stomach. It feels right and is exciting, even if a little scary, because you are stretching to do it.
Cheryl Richardson, professional speaker, coach, and author, recommends “building your courage muscles” and doing “one small thing a day that frightens you”. She tells a story about attending her first Toastmasters meeting years ago, as the first step in confronting her fear of speaking.²
Another friend and coach, Mike Bruny, describes the “the hair stand up factor”. Mike says he tunes in to which conversations and activities make his hair stand up and give him that goose bumps feeling. “Once I find this, I capture it as a clue to my purpose.”
The Thrill Factor
Allow yourself to entertain what would thrill³ you. Better yet, go do something thrilling!
Here's to you,
² Cheryl Richardson, www.cherylrichardson.com/newsletter/archives.htm, then click on: “To read our most recent archives…” and select the article entitled: Graduation. The end is only the beginning (July, 2009)
³ Definition of “thrill” — (verb) to affect one with a wave of emotion or excitement